Sorry, I’ve not posted for ages. The truth is I’ve been a bit stuck. Life has thrown challenges my way. I’ve metaphorically been trying to climb a high wall. This week, I’ve gotten away on a fabulous retreat. As I stopped and sat down, I realised there was another route.
In a woodwork lesson in the early 80s, I spent over 40 minutes trying to saw a 5 cm angled cut in my Christmas tree decoration. Eventually, my teacher approached me and turned my project 45 degrees in the vice. It took me just a few minutes to make my cut by sawing straight down! I was embarrassed and mad at him for taking so long to help me. Forty years later, I’m still prone to the same mistake. I get engrossed in my challenges and difficulties. I try harder, but all I do is get tired. Oh, and sometimes make a mess! Are you ever this way?
In my work as a physiotherapist, I’ve used Solution Focused Therapy. When a client comes to a therapist, they usually have a problem. They want the therapist to help them overcome that difficulty. They may say to me, ‘I have a weak leg.’ I don’t just respond, ‘OK, let’s make it stronger’. I asked them what would be better if their leg were not weak. I ask my clients not to focus on the immediate difficulty but on what they want to achieve. This way, we get more quickly to meaningful results.
If we consider my stuck-at-a-wall analogy, my expectation on visiting an expert could be:' Show me how to knock down this wall’ or ‘Teach me to climb it.’ But do I want to knock down or climb a wall? What I actually want is to get to a coffee shop! Have I paused long enough to see a gate a little further on or another cafe on the same side of the wall? I must switch from being consumed with my problems to focusing on what I want to achieve. There is often different way.
I’d love to hear about your aspired destinations. If you’re stuck, is there a different route you could take?