I used my 'phone-a-friend'

What would you use yours for?

Sorry to disappoint, but this is not a post about ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’ This is about real life. While not dramatic, the phone call in question did feel like a lifeline to me, and I am glad I get to ring this friend again..

When I got home from work this Tuesday, I discovered that the wrong door had been fitted to the disability annex being built for my mum. The extension started six months ago, and our squashed living situation is challenging. I am at my wit’s end with the work.

I gulped hard and distracted myself with the post. When I opened the letter addressed to me, I found that Companies House had charged me a hefty penalty for misunderstanding a filing date.

I was overwhelmed, and emotion welled up from my insides. I didn’t know what to do. I felt sick. I wanted to smash stuff, cry, shout, and run away. None of those options seemed promising, so I put the lead on Barney, and we headed out for a walk. I began to breathe more normally. This is when I remembered I had a lifeline. I phoned my good friend Jen. There would be little she could do. This was no multiple-choice situation, but I knew she would listen.

Listen, she did, with empathy and kindness. It felt so calming. She then began reflecting on the situation with me; it did not feel so earth-shattering. From a different perspective, I could see the door could be changed, and the penalty appealed. In the worst situation, I’d pay up; yes, it would be a pain, but it would not bankrupt me.

Taking a step back with the help of my friend helped me see the bigger picture. Sometimes, we are just close to a challenging situation to be able to make the best decisions. While thinking about this post, I found a new phrase: ' You can’t read the label from inside the jar.’ It struck me as profound, so I got out my pen and watercolours:

Anyone can become overwhelmed. For those of us with trauma or anxiety, it may not seem to take much. But in the moment, even small disruptions can feel devastating. Often, a different viewpoint can make a big difference. Don’t struggle on your own. Be brave, phone-a-friend, to reflect with you. If you don’t know who to call or don’t want to share with anyone close, you could contact one of these UK helplines.

I’d love to hear your comments here or on my Rafiki Art Facebook page.